Kosher relationships or Jewish dating tips
If you think romantic love and Judaism have nothing in common, you are wrong. Jewish people date and get married as well as those of other religions. No one canceled romance and courting if you are Jewish.
As people of any other faith, Jewish women and men have their requirements for dating, relationships, and marriage. If you plan to date a Jewish girl, you’d better learn all of the peculiarities of her religion to avoid misunderstandings.
Jewish dates rules
Being Jewish doesn’t mean excluding any personal life or relationships. Like all other modern people, Jewish guys and girls go on dates. They do it not for fun though but long-lasting relationships. Being Jewish means looking for a life partner to create a family and have children.
Flirting isn’t for them. When going on dates, Jewish people look at each other as at their potential spouses and already start wondering whether their families would approve their choice. It is a sort of old school but very romantic and genuine. It would be great if it happened all the time.
Unfortunately, even Jewish first dates rarely end up with a marriage. Modern people have a lot of requirements and expectations, so it is difficult to find your match from the first attempt nowadays. To facilitate the process, try to check the following tips and use them when necessary.
When joining Jewish dating websites (and this is one of the most popular ways to find your Jewish partner nowadays), be true to yourself and your partner. Ask yourself whether you need it at the moment and if you are ready to commit yourself to relationships right now.
Think of the feelings of other people. Often, when people join various sites, they find it difficult to devote enough time and effort to their search in the future. Someone does it for fun or curiosity. Remember you are not alone involved in the process and such behavior may hurt other people’s feelings.
Your decision to join a Jewish dating site must be weighty and considerate. If you are looking for fun or just want to kill your time, others may be very serious about it and take you seriously. Thus, be honest with yourself first of all. Do it only if you really need it and are ready for it. Do not play games.
Emotional bond matters
When you are Jewish and start dating, it is easy to get lost in a variety of beautiful people. It happens too often when you join a Jewish dating website and see hundreds or thousands of profiles of beautiful women gathered in one gallery.
You keep browsing those pictures and find even more beautiful ladies with each page. Do not search for a beautiful cover though. Remember that physical contact is not that important. It is pleasant but not important. People must have emotional connections, and searching for your partner on an emotional level is crucial.
It will be interesting for you to look at a beautiful woman for some time but once you realize there is nothing beyond that passion and affection, you won’t be able to create a family with this person. Look for people sharing the same interests and values as you do.
Think of marriage, not of dating
The Jewish Chaplain at Concordia University Rabbi Yisroel Bernath who helps singles find each other says that you shouldn’t be too good at dating, otherwise, you may never get married. People who jump into dating and feel comfortable there, do not want to get married.
If they do, they divorce soon while they do not understand married life. If marriage is your goal, do not date too much, otherwise, you will not see any reason for getting married already. Marriage is a sacred thing and it requires commitment.
When people start dating and keep doing it all the time changing partners, they get thrilled and forget about commitment and obligations. After getting married, they cannot understand what they should do and why. Thus, if you want to find a Jewish wife, better do not devote all of your time to dating different girls.
Do not look for your sister
When people join free Jewish dating websites, for example, they start looking for people with similar personalities, interests, goals. It is crucial to realize that men and women are different but it doesn’t mean that you should search for an absolutely opposite person.
You should look for your better half, someone who will complete you and this someone shouldn’t be just like you. Not for nothing, these people are called soulmates. Physical attraction is important and you may feel really attracted to this person but it doesn’t mean she is your soulmate.
You both must complete each other not only on a physical but also on an emotional level. When dating Jewish women, you should be looking exactly for such a person. Many girls are beautiful and attractive and share your interests, love hiking, biking, reading, and whatever you might like but there is only one soulmate in this world for you. She doesn’t necessarily love the same things.
Look for character traits
Jewish dating supposes you to learn more about someone according to the Talmud — her anger, pocket, and cup. This is what you should verify with your potential partner. Pay attention to how this person interacts with you, her reaction to different situations and issues, aggression, yelling, etc. These things are very important to notice, especially at the early stage.
Do not be blinded by passion at the beginning of your dating process. When you pay attention to a pocket, it means to see whether this person is giving or taking, generous or greedy. Having one approach to financial means is crucial in marriage. A woman will not pay for dinner or dates, but she should not be manipulative and must contribute at least something to the dating process.
How to learn about the person by her cup? On the date, you must have a couple of drinks. This is a good way to see how this person acts after them. The true nature of people can be easily seen after a few cups of wine. Pay attention to her behavior and what she says. It is a very important sign.
Trust your feelings
Jewish online dating isn’t different from all others. Dating in reality is also about two singles looking for their partners and spending some time together. If you had already a couple of dates and feel nothing, maybe then you shouldn’t be dating that Jewish girl. She might not be good for you then.
Trusting your feelings is crucial. If you do not see any development and nothing inside of you tells you could consider marrying this girl, then it probably is necessary to think of another person to date. Your inner world never lies and your intuition tells you the truth. Do not neglect it.
Do not look for intimacy
Most religious Jewish people do not have intimacy before marriage. Of course, modern American Jews and those living in other countries are not that traditional anymore and have their intimate relationships before marriage, even with different partners.
However, pursuing intimacy isn’t the goal of Jewish dating. Your purpose is marriage and you should look for someone to marry. Intimacy is good when you become really close and are sure this person is your soulmate. But it doesn’t have to be your primary goal.
Avoid becoming snobby
Some people are really obsessed when it comes to finding their partner that they start seeing their potential spouse in each candidate. Avoid doing it, especially if you decide to date Jewish girls online. Online dating is not where you should be too snobby and obsessed.
An opposite scenario is also possible. You were disappointed so many times that you became snobby and too suspicious about everyone. This is a huge no-no. Nobody likes snobs as well as being investigated and suspected all the time.
Try to stick to a golden mean and do not pursue one extreme or the other. As it was already mentioned, take your time and be patient. Do not perceive each candidate on a Jewish dating site as your future partner, especially on free dating sites.
This is only a process of getting to know each other and you should not overestimate it. Underestimating this way of dating and suspecting everyone is also not good. Try to remain reasonable and positive no matter what.
Dating a Jewish girl is fun
If you are not Jewish but want to have a Jewish girlfriend, know that it is exciting yet a bit challenging. Thus, you should be prepared that she will eat only Kosher food and try not to ask her why. Also, she will have her religious festivals and you shouldn’t interfere with it.
Family is very important for Jewish people and your girlfriend will be very close to her mother. This is absolutely normal and you must handle it. Laughing at Jews and their religious and national peculiarities is also a very bad taste.
Dating as a Jewish is not tough and it can be even easier if you try to stick to the rules and tips above.