Mindful dating: tips, guidelines, and more
Dating is usually associated with something very light, easy-going, and serene. We are guided by our emotions and passion when dating someone. However, some people manage to date differently. They do not succumb to their feelings and emotions but are guided solely by their common sense.
What is mindful dating
If you have ever checked a mindful dating review online, you could understand that it is a specific approach to dating that allows you to reach much better results and control your behavior and emotions.
You are more conscious during your dates, are able to recognize your emotions, and pick a partner who really suits you. Thanks to such an approach, you can accept rejection without problems and take the right lessons out of it.
Are there any mindful dating websites?
There are a bunch of sites that claim to be mindful dating websites. You can also see many dating apps that market themselves as apps for mindful dating. However, how can they ensure it? It is only up to you whether to date mindfully or not and none of the sites and apps can make you do it.
Thus, if you sign up for a mindful dating site, be aware that this is a marketing trick and nothing more and no one can ensure this but you. If you want to meet people through a mindful dating site, subscribe to any site that is more or less reputable. Instead of waiting for a miracle and someone to do everything for you, check the following tips, and learn how to date deliberately.
Mindful dating tips
It is necessary to admit that meeting people for mindful dating is not for everyone. Sooner or later, any person might want to try it but it doesn’t mean it will fit you. Some people are very emotional and they need it.
They want to experience different kinds of feelings, from love to hate and all this may happen on the very first date. Such people are dependent on these emotions and cannot live differently. Mindful dating is not for them, for sure.
However, you can at least try and who knows, if you have been dating for years and still no result, you might need to change your tactics, attitude, and approach. Some good recommendations below will help you do that.
Do not let your emotions come over you
People tend to be directed by their emotions, especially, if they feel attracted to someone at first sight. If you have been single for a while, you may feel desperate to some extent and it is normal. You should not let your hopelessness get the upper hand though.
Mindful dating teaches you to recognize your emotions. Do not start being accustomed to someone just because this person seems to awaken positive emotions in you or shows her attention. You should realize if your emotions are getting stronger.
Passion is cool but it tends to fade away. And what do you have then? Nothing is left when passion is gone. There was no love and you do not have anything already. Thus, it is crucial to see if there is just passion between you or something more.
The facts say that the strongest relationships have never started with passion. In any dating, you should be objective at the beginning. First, try to get to know this person from different sides and only then let your emotions out.
Being blinded by her beauty and kind words is very easy but actions are the main thing that can give you a full picture. After your date, analyze her actions. Understand if you like her behavior or not. When we are eager to date and like someone, we tend to make excuses for certain things.
For example, she asked you to buy her flowers or at the restaurant, she didn’t ask if you do not mind her to order an expensive dish and just ordered and made you pay for it. You can make any excuses that she was nervous or she is a lady and can ask whatever she wants.
The truth is this lady doesn’t think of how you feel and doesn’t care about you. If you turn your emotions off, you will notice such things easily and will know that you do not need such a person by your side.
By analyzing each date, you can easily see if a lady is a good match or not. Some deal breakers in her behavior may tell you that you’d better search for someone else. Do not be biased though and do not nag to every detail. Think soberly and make conclusions.
Rejection is not a problem
Rejection is one of those things you should not be worried about. You cannot marry all women you meet throughout life. People are different and not everyone is a good match for you, otherwise, there would be no singles in the world.
You have to learn how to reject. If someone doesn’t match you, you shouldn’t procrastinate and let her know it. Rejection is normal. You do not have to be depressed or desperate if a woman rejected you either. Accept it as an integral part of dating.
There is no need to stop believing in yourself if you have been rejected. Take it as a lesson, make conclusions, and move forward. Learn to benefit from rejections.
Do not be too open
When it comes to mindful dating, revealing too much information about yourself isn’t necessary. Do not get too personal during your first several dates with an almost unknown person. Tell only about those things your crush is asking you. Do not talk about your past relationships and disappointments if no one wonders about it.
When revealing too much about yourself, you become too vulnerable. Instead, listen more than talk. If you want to date mindfully, you should be a good listener and pay attention to what and how people say, what questions they ask you.
Avoid being a chatterbox, be focused on your partner, and listen a lot. It is what mindful dating means — not talk much but listen to your date.
On the dates, we often complain about many things — about our exes, being single, miserable lives, jobs, etc. Avoid doing it during mindful dating. Do not try to evoke the feeling of pity. Mindful dating is not about complaining.
When you do it, you lose the thin line between reality and your emotions. Another person didn’t appear for your date to listen about your sad experience. Your goal is to get to know her as well as possible and you cannot do it when talking about your emotional baggage.
Learn your dating habits through mindful dating
Dating mindfully means being aware of your goals, expectations, and needs in relationships. It helps meeting people who are really compatible with you. However, as was mentioned above, it is not for everyone. If you are an emotional person, you may not master this dating art.
You may need to experience those emotions and tell everyone about your poor past experience. If you are depending on these feelings, you cannot be involved in mindful dating because you simply won’t be able to step back from those emotions.
For some people, their emotions are more important in relationships and dating than common sense and they do not understand what mindful dating is for. If you are one of such people, then do not strive to date mindfully because it may simply not fit you.
However, maybe it’s worth trying at least once to turn your emotions off and look at dating from another perspective. You might like the result, who knows.